My decision has been made....

I honestly love this man. What he did to me caused me more pain than I've ever felt in my life, short of being cut off from my children for those two years that their father took them from me. But the fact remains that I love this man. And despite his mistake, I know that he loves me just as much.

Many wouldn't be able to understand my decision to stay with him and try to work past this. Many wouldn't be able to understand my decision to try and forgive him for this. Many will never understand the absolute remorse I see in his eyes when he looks at me. No one will ever understand the love that stands between us, holding us together, even through something like this.

I've come to see who my absolute true friends are with this. Those that truly love me and truly care for me have all stated the same thing over and over again. "No matter what you decide to do, no matter how you decide to handle this, we love you, and all that we want is for you to be happy, and if this is what you feel is going to be best for you, we support your decision to the end." That's not to say that there aren't a LOT of people out there that aren't angry as hell at him for this, but because of their love for me, they are going to make the effort alongside me to move past this and forgive.

It's just as simple as the fact that this time, THIS time I have honestly found LOVE. The kind that you really search your whole damn life for. This is the kind of love that you hear about in songs, read about in books, and see in the movies. There is NO doubt in my mind that this is honestly the man that God sent forth for me AND my family. I love him, and you know what? I know that he loves me, and I have NO doubt in my mind that we will NEVER have to face this kind of pain again. No matter what life or assholes decide to throw our way, this is what was meant to be.

No matter what some people's opinion may be, I know that this is right. For me to be able to move so easily back into our normal life's, after facing the unbearable pain of being without this man, this absolute love of my life, to be able to forgive him for his transgressions, and I do mean fully forgive him, speaks loud and clear to my soul.

Like it or leave it, we stand together. We do simply come as a package. You will NOT find one without the other. When a family member is sick and needs us, you will find us there together. We are here to support each other through the tough times, to hold each other up through hard times, and to rejoice together during the happy times.

Simply put, I love this man. Accept it or not, it will not change my mind. Throw as much as you like at us, for together through the storms we will only emerge stronger. Keep piling it on me Lord, my back will always be strong enough to carry whatever load you've asked me to carry.