Some Mumblings Of A Lonely Soul

I've been through so much in life, I've seen everything from the miracle of birth to the loss of a loved one. I've been on every spectrum of the emotion meter, I've stood on the highest mountain of life, and dwelled in the deepest valley of pain.

Having figuretively traveled the entire globe of experience, I've developed an intense respect and appreciation for life, love, friends, family, and time. I'm constantly aware of the fact that no matter how much we like to think we are in control of our own lives, in reality, it can all be gone in less than a second. I take every experience in my life, and strive to learn from it, be it positive or negative, there has to be something to take from it!

I never turn my back on the chance the love someone, no matter the stakes. Some might think that I'm too quick to rush into a relationship, or that I'm too intense. However, as short as life is, I never pass up an opportunity. Yes, I'm putting myself at risk to be let down and hurt, but it's the pain that reminds us we are alive and it is where we draw our lessons from.

Yes, I'm lonely. Yes, I'm having a hard time dealing with the silence in my home, and the emptiness in my bed. I see myself reaching out for someone to love me, and each time I do, I wind up holding my hand to the wind.

I long for someone that I can be quiet with, someone who I'm so comfortable with that I don't need to fill the silence with endless chatter. Someone I can go on endless drives with, with no intended destination. I yearn for someone who can ignite the fire within me and keep the fire stoked. Someone who knows exactly how to touch me, how to kiss me.

I know the perfect person, someone who matches this perfectly, however, the timing is all wrong with us. There's too much time in between us seeing each other to really hold each other to any kind of a commitment.

There are times in my life in which I wish I could just hit the reset button, just rewind and start over. But yet, I'm so incredibly happy with who I have turned out to be, that I ask if I would really take that chance if it was offered? I've survived incredible odds, and still maintained my positive outlook on life, and my trust of people. If I could change the past, I wouldn't know of the pain that exists in the world, giving myself the deep appreciation for joy that I contain today. Having all of the knowledge in my head that I've stored away, I would have to say that no, I wouldn't change a thing.